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How to make a relationship healthy?

12/31/2016

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It is totally normal that everyone gets married thinking that life will be happy but not everyone find it happy till the last day of their life. The problem with the current generation is seeing everything as a business and goals. This will never go hand in hand with the relationship in long term. Relationship goals and relationship as a goal are different. It is something between the two and nothing to do with the external world, but it is difficult to maintain the happiness throughout. I put down my top 15 ingredients of a healthy relationship. 

1. Give enough personal space, do not take everything granted
    Just because you're in a relationship, this doesn't mean that you need to share everything and be together always and also do not hide if something is important. Crossing the limits will make your partner think as an annoyance, maybe not on a day one but this will happen one day. A good relationship needs some private space. A good relationship will allow each other to enjoy with their friends. Do not bug your partner to share the facebook password.
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2. Do not compare or force a change!
    Accept your partner as such. Everyone has got a unique thing, find and encourage it. Trying to change your partner in a bigger way eventually, makes your partner live an artificial life. One fine day the balloon will burst. 

3. Do not argue stir the past
    You are aware of your partner's vulnerable emotions and spots. Do not use these in any argument. Winning an argument will create only a hatred. It is not a business, find happiness in your partner by making your partner win. 

4. Be patient in the goals.
    Whether it is relationship goals or career goal or financial goals, do not set a target and work. If you encourage and motivate your partner, eventually big things come in your way. Respect each other's aspirations and ambitions, encourage your partner to attain it. 

5. Let it go
    Holding egos and grudges can be damaging to a relationship. Do not feel low or embarrassed to talk first after a quarrel. Understand that everybody commits a mistake. Do not hold grudges and forgive one another for mistakes, because small words can suppress the mighty love.

6. Listen more and let enjoy 
    Listen and try to understand each other. Do not argue but complement each other's thoughts. Your partner is not expecting a solution from you always but just a listening ears and carrying shoulders. Most of the times listening ears works better than advising tongue. 

7. Appreciate and compliment each other often
    because both men and women like it. Women express it and Men don't. Show your gratitude even on simple things. Sorry, Thanks, I appreciate it, You have done a good job, you are correct, I agree with you. All these are simple statements but we never make use of these. To be honest, it is easy to get the work done by using these words. 

8. Ready to apologize
    We are ready to ask apologies to unknown third person but not to the close ones. Just question yourself when did you ask sorry to your partner last time. Apologize for the sake of the relationship and your children will learn the habit of asking sorry by seeing.

9. Spend quality time
    Spending time with your partner is the best way to give respect to your partner. It is the most needed at everyone's home nowadays because we are living in the digital era where finding a time to talk with your best ones are difficult. Communicate with each other at least 20 - 30 mins every day. Laugh out, keep your mobiles and TV remote aside.
    
10. Do not force    
    Violence and harassment can never be a part of a healthy relationship. The attitude of forcing your partner to do something disliking will eventually make your relationship as 'masters & slave' relationship. Just respect and understand each other. Always think from the opponent's point of view.

12. Never go to bed angry
    Begin and end your each day together not just with your presence but also your mind. 
 
13. Be supportive during tough times
    Tough days will be there surely for everyone, trust and help your partner to come out that quickly. You are first and most expected one to be supportive on the tough times of your partner. 

14. Earn Memories than money
    Money is really needed, no second thoughts. But good nostalgic memories are much more needed than the money when your turn the pages of your history. Make sure you create some good memories to smile and cherish on your last days. Live the life completely. 

15. Be yourself and love unconditionally
    This is the most important of all. Think of the word 'unconditionally', it means, not subject to any conditions. So love your partner without any conditions.  

Hopefully, you and your significant other are treating each other well. If not take the first step before it breaks. 

Regards,
​Joachin Joseph

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